If I Was A Curtain Tieback!

March 29, 2009

OK, Dad and I cleaned up half the family room yesterday, you know Spring Cleaned...and that meant that we had to take down and wash the curtains. That's a BIG JOB for dad as he has to get the ladder, unscrew the rods from the brackets, and then unscrew the balls off the ends of the rods, and then deal with the beads that I have on the curtains. Then we finally get the curtains down.

While we were doing this I was thinking of my blog and how I like to write about silly things, so here we go about curtain tiebacks.

I've decided it must be somewhat boring to be a tieback, I mean you have to stay in one position all the time, and you can't even move your tail to swish the dust off your face if it happens to land there. If you have a bow, your little arms must be constantly numb because you can never move them unless mom comes and reties your bow because somehow it's gotten crooked. (That ceiling fan can do some strange things when it really gets blowing!) However, there are all kinds of things to watch....there's Disney on TV (which is mostly what our TV watches), Dad working on his laptop (we tiebacks think he must be someone important because he seems to always be hooked up to that mysterious box!), Cooper dancing, or just standing there with her leg up over her head, and Cymbre just laying there saying her throat hurts. Then there's Mom, who comes to lay on the couch when Dad is snoring, and she puts that foot up on the back of the couch(which she says helps prevent the swelling of her toe), but we tiebacks think she is some kind of contortionist! Have you seen that toe lately....still pretty swollen if you ask us! If we really want to shake things up, we look real dusty and Mom gets out that Swiffer thing and tickles us clean....that's about as much excitement as we can handle for a while! Sometimes we get to watch the family play Uno Attack, and they seem to love it when Dad hits the button and tons of cards fly out at him. Except, then he gets that card that lets him trade his hand with Mom.....and Mom usually has just a card or two. She makes him pay with kisses.....but that's another story. We have seen Dad lay on the couch for nights at a time while Cymbre was comfortably sleeping in his side of the bed recently. Mom gets out those pins and does her thing with tulle, and just the other day, she actually used our tails for sticking her pins in! Can you imagine the pain! The suffering! The total astonishment of it all! We decided that the next time we get a bath, which may be a long time since mom gets out the swiffer or sometimes even that ticklely thing on the end of the vacumn, we are going to switch curtains! That will just fix Mom, she won't know where to stick her pins! If she wants to stick us, she will have to get up and move down the couch and then stick us. (Or maybe Mom will just use the tiebacks we've switched with!) We must admit, she doesn't stick us very often, just when the pin box falls on the floor! The most exciting time to be a curtain tieback is when the hurricanes come....then they untie us and tie us way high up.....it seems that without electricity, they need to let the light in from outside. Then Mom just leaves us that way, because with 3 tiebacks on each curtain, and 4 curtains in the room, she just doesn't feel like retying us for night time. And some of us are scared of heights! We feel like we are clinging on for dear life....our tails just flapping in the breeze from the open doors to let some air in. Hurricanes come with some hefty breezes even after the storm is over, and the family comes out of the hiding closet. We did get a great view of Mom with her foot up due to lack of ice and working on Baby Jack's crocheted blanket during hurricane Ike! She worked until she just couldn't see anymore, and then they turned on those candles on sticks, and the oil lamps. What dejection we felt, as we were working so hard to let in light, but they turned those candles and lamps on anyway. Do they have no regard for our feelings? Don't they realize how tired we were using muscles that we don't usually use...I mean we were getting kinks in our necks instead of our elbows! And what about our tails just flapping in the darkness....some of us are scared of the dark too! Sometimes those mayfly bugs like to land on our tails, and then here comes Dad with the paper to swat them. Some of us still have bruises from the swating...Dad never gets the bug the first time! (He claims it's something about how they like to fly away...we think he just likes to torture us!) We are happiest when the holidays come around and Mom puts some decorations around the room for us to look at, and Britni comes home and bakes cookies with Cooper and Cymbre. We love the smell, however, no one ever thinks that the tiebacks might like some cookies! What's with that? Come to think of it, they never feed us, they just work us to death, take us down to wash us, then scald us with the iron, spray some that the starch stuff on us, and hang us back up again. The inhumanity of it all! Isn't there some sort of family counseling they should go to to learn how to treat the curtain tiebacks? Or at least give us some respect? We should protest! Maybe if we had mouths, we could make some noise! That would fix the family, they couldn't watch TV in peace because we would want to watch the home decorating shows, and those kids just like Disney! We could rally all the curtain tiebacks in the entire house and plan a strike...that would leave the family in total darkness! We could walk out, if we just had feet....well, it's a nice plan anyway.

OK, I am taking back the computer! It seems like the curtain tiebacks really have some issues, and I guess I better take them for some counseling....maybe we will stop at the feet store on the way home. I could use some new curtains anyway...so let them walk away....

Mom