Pen, Pencil, or Crayon?

July 5, 2010

We spent a couple of hours yesterday cleaning out the pencils, pens, markers, and crayons. This is a yearly job at our house....and IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO TAKE FOREVER!! I don't know how we have come up with what seems likes THOUSANDS of pencils, pens, and markers! And I am sure we have MILLIONS of crayons! It's like they multiply overnight! Do you know how many birthday pencils we have? Or Halloween ones? Christmas? And how often do you have a request for a clown pencil, or Batman? There are #2 pencils, Ticonderoga pencils, heck, there's even some of those funny ones from England in that drawer! Who knew a pencil's lifespan was over 15-17 years! How does that work? There are sharp pencils, broken point pencils, mechanical pencils, brand new pencils, red pencils, blue pencils, green pencils, yellow pencils....sort of like red fish...blue fish..well, you know! There are pencils with bright and shiny erasers, and those that have erasers that should have retired years ago. Some pencils have teeth marks....I think they belonged to Caleb at some point! Some pencils have people's names on them, and some have smiley faces drawn on them? There are long pencils, medium length pencils...but I threw away all the nubby little ones! No, there was not time to plan a funeral for the lot of them...there were too many markers to deal with! Speaking of markers....just how many half used yellow highlighters does one family need? Do they have never emptying ink wells? Who is the genie that granted that wish? Does she live with the tooth fairy? Maybe Dad could find her phone number.... Are they just so attached to us that they can't bear to give up the final drop of ink? Just when will they highlight their final word? Is there some country in Africa that is sadly lacking in yellow highlighters because they are ALL living in the drawer at our house? Maybe they need to be enrolled in some 12 step program for partially used highlighters....anyone have a recommendation? I thought about throwing the half-used ones away, but you know, just when I do and the trash man drives away....Dad will need one! And just how many black fine tipped permanent markers does one drawer need? We seem to have one for each family member...including the family members who don't live here anymore! Although, the ones that don't live here anymore get to have the ones with the not-so-sharp points if I get a say! The one that Mom uses has the best, sharpest point...I mean I have to write all those lunch notes! And I use them to send packages to those Grandbabies! And to label the pencil drawer! I have considered adoption, but that's too time consuming for a marker! They could run out of ink before they got the papers all filled out! When we got to the crayon box, there was about to be a MUTINY! It seems the pink ones...who are sadly outnumbered, were taking on the brown ones for the top positions in the box! The purple ones were cowering in the corners, and the green ones were envious of the pink ones courage! The maroon ones, and the burgundy ones were debating their true colors, and the blue ones were feeling sort of "blue"! The yellow crayons were trying to be "sunny", but the black ones were drawing thunder clouds EVERYWHERE! The orange crayons were trying to build a fire with the help of some yellow ones, but the brown ones weren't giving up any logs for the cause! It took some work, but we managed to get everything under control, and everyone settled down. We sorted through them all, separated the trouble makers...those twist down ones never really show all their colors! We threw away all the little nubbly ones. I actually think they are the ones that have lived long and useful lives and are ready to retire to the great crayon heaven beyond! Now we are left with a big box of good crayons...no broken ones! Although there are some naked ones....who knows why they have shed their wrappers. Maybe they are depressed! Maybe I should leave a color book in the crayon box, so they could scribble out their frustrations! I know I am not going to sew new clothes for them....I am NOT crazy! At any rate, for one more year, the drawers are all organized with everyone in the right drawer. Maybe we can find what we are looking for when school starts again and we have to draw those dumb maps! In the mean time, I think I will advertise for a kindergarten teacher who is willing to adopt and love some very used crayons!

And on this note....I just want to let the kids know...I have not lost my mind!

Hug those grandbabies, and skype Grandma soon!

Mom