Life As A Ceiling Fan

October 9, 2009

Have you ever considered what life would be like if you were a ceiling fan? It could be different depending on the location, and even climate you lived in.

If I was a ceiling fan, would I like the dust to be piled high on the edge of my blades? Or would I want a good dusting each Saturday? Would I want to have a light fixture attached to my tummy, or would I just like to make a statement all on my own?

I think I would like to be a shinny gold fan. They seem to sparkle more than the others, and I guess I like to sparkle! At least I like to sparkle for Dad! I would want a light fixture because I just think I would be more useful that way.

Can you just imagine the things those light bulbs see? I mean really! The fan in my sewing room probably knows much more than I care to realize.

Just think of all the trouble you could create if you were a ceiling fan.....my goodness, you could sitr up feathers on a sewing project sending them flying EVERYWHERE! Been there, done that!! You would have a birdseye view of everything in the room. Maybe not a great idea in the bathroom! However, in the family room you would actually see everyone's hand when playing card games, or know the words someone could make when playing scrabble.

You could just go on vacation and not work, just to irritate Dad! Or the best thing is to reverse yourself for no apparent reason sending the cool air up! You could whip Dad's work papers into a frenzy with just a simple whirl! And Mom's sewing patterns wouldn't know what hit them as they fly around the room missing the opportunity to be stabbed by those very sharp straight pins and attached to a piece of material before the cutting out process! You could create havoc with kids homework papers, causing them to have to sort and resort them yet again. Payback I say! I mean after all, those kids don't spend enough time learning as it is.

We have a couple of ceiling fans in our house that seem to have minds of their own.....they just turn on and off at their leisure. I actually think it's because the people behind us have the same kind of fan and so the remotes work each others fan. We change the channel, but that only works for a little while...probably until the neighbor changes the channel on his.

I'm not sure I would like to be a ceiling fan that works on a remote....I mean, what happens if your people lose the remote, or the battery goes dead? You would just be hanging there with nothing to do but look pretty or dusty as the case may be.

And would your family appreciate you? I mean they like you when you are cooling them off, but at cleaning time, Dad tends to get a bit testy if you move your blade and knock him in the head! And when a light bulb goes out, I imagine that you would feel like you lost your arm or leg as the case may be.

And what happens if the family just goes to bed and leaves you running all night? When do you get to sleep? And if Mom ends up on the couch, to you pretend to stay alseep, or do you hope she turns you on?

What about those CRAZY girls who turn you on, and then go get a blanket to lay under saying you are making them cold? DUH!! You are just doing your job!

I think it would be fun to be a fan that has several speeds. Then you could wait until just the right moment and go really fast creating havoc below! Or on really hot days, you could refuse to go fast stating that it makes you to hot....leaving the family totally and utterly frustrated.

Yes, I think there are definite benefits to being a ceiling fan!

Guess I'll go dust mine....

Love you,

Mom